Book Summary: Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt | Best Quotes and Secrets
Updated: Aug 23, 2020
3 Big Ideas:
Happiness Formula (H = S + C + V) - Happiness = Set Level + Conditions + Voluntary activities
Set Level -The set-point theory of happiness suggests that our level of subjective well-being is determined primarily by heredity and by personality traits ingrained in us early in life, and as a result remains relatively constant throughout our lives
Conditions – Relationships(connection) is one of the most important conditional factors to happiness. You can never adapt if you loose connections.
Voluntary activities – Focus on activities that bring joy to others. Such as showing gratitude, kindness, favours.
Retrain the Elephant – A strong metaphor throughout. Rider = Rational Brain Elephant = Compulsive, Irrational brain. Lasting happiness does not occur through an epiphany. It occurs through focusing on the relationship between rider and elephant, and retraining the elephant. You need to consistently act you way to change through tiny habits.
Coherence is a strong theme throughout. Living coherently leads to happiness. This includes coherence between different levels of your personality, personal values, environment you live and work within, relationships you have.
“Happiness is not something that you can find, acquire, or achieve directly. You have to get the conditions right and then wait. Some of those conditions are within you. Other conditions require relationships to things beyond you: Just as plants need sun, water, and good soil to thrive, people need love, work, and a connection to something larger“
“Work less, Consume less, Attach less, Connect more”
Focus on building good relationships in my life.
Relationships between myself and others, between myself and work, between myself and a greater purpose.
Big Ideas Expanded
The brain sends bad feedback signals quicker than good. We are wired for negativity bias.
Three beliefs depressed people hold:
I’m no good
My world is no good
My future is hopeless
Three best ways to change thought patterns:
CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)
A Metaphor for the mind. The rider and the elephant.
The rider and the elephant are often in conflict. The elephant usually wins.
Streetlight Effect: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streetlight_effect
You can’t change your mind(or anything else) through will power alone. You need to act you way to changes through tiny habits done consistently such as meditation and thinking habits formed through CBT
Our search for knowledge is flawed. We search for facts that confirm our position and once found we stop thinking and looking for alternatives (Conformation Bias)
Our perception of others is often correct. Our perception of self is flawed. We have significant blind spots. The ego is strong. We see ourselves through rose tinted spectacles
Naive Realism – we see the world objectively, everyone else is wrong!
Progress Principle – Joy comes through the journey towards the goal not achievement of the goal.
Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work
Adaptation Principle – In the long run, it doesn’t matter what happens to you, good or bad, you will ultimately return to your happiness equilibrium which is largely influenced by your genes. Also referred to as Hedonic Treadmill
Relationships(connection) is one of the most important factors to happiness. You can never adapt if you loose connections.
Experiences, such as going to a concert, give more happiness due to their social value. They bring connection
Voluntary Activity essential is your daily habits. Build reciprocal habits can have biggest effect. Such as showing gratitude, kindness, favours for others
Happiness = work less, consume less, attach less, connect more
3 levels of personality (McAdams):
Basic internal traits (having)
Personal values, goals, projects (doing)
Life Story (making)
Coherence between the 3 levels is essential for happiness
3 typical responses to tragedy:
Active response(taking action)
Reframing (such as into a positive)
4 types of Life Goals:
Work/Achievement – People least happy if they drive towards this goal
3 ways to manage your environment:
Adapt – respond to changing environment
Shape – changing the environment to suit needs
Select – choosing the environment to work within
People are not computers. The technology metaphor is now so pervasive we see people at machines. And therapy as the repair shop. Our metaphors are wrong. People are more like plants
Most plants will come back to life without repairing the plant. Focus on
the conditions. Fix the environment the plant(person) will naturally spring back to life.
vital conditions for humans to flourish:
Social connection (love)
Compelling purpose or goal greater than ourselves
Vital Engagement = Flow + Meaning
Coherence is important for individuals happiness. Coherence at the three levels of your personality. If you do not have coherence, it is likely you will be tormented. Without good skills to diagnose your personal system, you may struggle to find the problem You need coherence with your personal “optimisation” goal.
When you do find coherence, it may be one of the most profound moments in your life.
Items which need coherence: – Habits – Goals – Values – Work – Love
These items are always in healthy tension but importantly there needs to be coherence.
Coherence needed at all levels:
We have an internal desire to share learning and ideas. The desire to reciprocate shares this even further and creates a virtuous cycle. Helping others succeed is hard wired into humans.