What Got You Here Won't Get You There: book summary

Should you read this?

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith is not a theory of communication. It’s a list of twenty interpersonal habits that got you promoted and will now get you stuck. Winning too much. Adding too much value. Starting with no, but, however. Failing to listen.

I read it as a conversation book because that’s where every habit shows up. In the one-to-one. In the steering group. In the Slack thread you should have left alone.

Toby's takeaway

I add too much value.

Someone brings an idea that is 90% there. I can’t leave the 10% alone. I add a twist. I’m trying to help. They leave a little less proud of the idea, and a little less likely to bring the next one.

Goldsmith says this is one of the most common leader defects. We spent our early careers being rewarded for the better idea. Then the job changed. The job became making other people bigger. The old habit now subtracts.

Winning too much is the sibling. I still feel it. A debate that doesn’t matter. I still want the last word.

The line that should be on every leadership programme:

We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do. We don’t spend enough time teaching them what to stop.

Stopping is a conversation skill. You stop interrupting. You stop saying “no, but.” You stop making comments you won’t remember and they won’t forget.

I’ve done the ugly version of this list on myself. I won’t publish the score. I’ll tell you the three that keep returning:

1. Adding too much value.
2. Starting with “no, but, however.”
3. Failing to express gratitude in the moment — I think it, I don’t say it.

Feedforward is the practice I actually use. Don’t ask “how did I do?” Ask “what’s one thing I could do better next time?” Future. Specific. Less threat.

Then advertise the change. Goldsmith is shameless about this. Tell people what you’re trying to stop. Ask them to catch you. Follow up. It feels corny. It’s how behaviour becomes visible enough to die.

This is why so many culture programmes fail. They add a value. They don’t name the habit to stop. Winning too much in senior rooms will beat “collaboration” on the poster every day of the week.

Turn This Book Into Action

Despite reading this book, I still have a problem. I’m not converting the knowledge into action. To solve this problem, I’m turning to the solution everyone is looking for at the moment: artificial intelligence. I’ve developed a set of AI tools to turn knowledge into action.

3 big ideas

1. The higher you go, the more your problems are behavioural

Technical skill got you here. At a certain level everyone is smart. What differentiates you is how you make other people feel when you talk.

Goldsmith’s twenty habits are almost all conversational. Winning too much. Adding too much value. Passing judgement. Making destructive comments. Starting with no, but, however. Telling the world how smart we are. Speaking when angry. Withholding information. Failing to give recognition. Claiming credit. Making excuses. Not listening. Failing to express gratitude. Punishing the messenger. An excessive need to be “me.”

That last one is the most British. “That’s just how I am. I’m direct.” Often a permission slip for being careless.

2. Apologise, advertise, ask, listen, thank, follow up

Goldsmith’s change process is not a 90-day transformation. It’s a loop.

Apologise for the habit. A clean one. Advertise what you’re changing so others know what to look for. Ask for feedforward. Listen. Don’t explain. Thank them. Follow up. Did they notice?

I’ve used a lighter version with leadership teams. Pick one habit. Tell your peers. Review it in the next offsite. The teams that do this get less theatre. The teams that skip it buy another 360 and change nothing.

3. Hitting the goal does not excuse the wake

Leaders excuse bad talk because the target was hit. Goldsmith is not anti-goal. He’s anti the collateral.

I’ve hit dates and lost people. I’ve been “clear” and left a mess.

You can still be ambitious and stop winning the argument about the biscuits.

If you want the organisational cousin of this book, read Multipliers. Wiseman is about how you use other people’s intelligence. Goldsmith is about the tics that make them hide it.

Best quotes

“We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do. We don’t spend enough time teaching them what to stop.”

“The higher you go, the more your problems are behavioural.”

“Winning too much is the #1 challenge for most people.”

“People won’t grow if you keep adding your two cents to every idea they have.”

“Stop asking for feedback about the past. Ask for feedforward about the future.”

Buy What Got You Here Won’t Get You There on Amazon

ISBN: 9781401301304

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/84525.What_Got_You_Here_Won_t_Get_You_There